The Siam has its own private launch that plies the river.
In Bangkok, I stayed at The Siam, with a capital “T.” As grammatically offensive as the upper-case article seems to this crusty old editor, in this case it just be a pretension fulfilled. In 2011, I wrote a profile of The Siam’s general manager for his alumni magazine (not Swarthmore’s). He liked the piece and extended an invitation to stay when next in Bangkok. I don’t forget an invite like that!
At the time, my profile subject (who will remain nameless here) was beginning construction of this “urban luxury resort” on the [name] River. His is an interesting story, from a first experience of Southeast Asia as a college student to post-college years bumming around there, mostly in the Malaysian archipelago. His little scuba diving school—he is a certified instructor—turned into a place for divers to crash.
Then someone told him about the Cornell School of Hotel Management and he decided to make a career of “hospitality.” I’ll bet he disdains that word, for The Siam offers more than howdy-folks, set and stay a while. It is by far the most luxurious and perfect lodging experience I’ve ever had. (Granted, I’m a Doubletree sort of guy, but I’ve stayed in some really nice hotels on other peoples’ dimes.)
The Siam is beautiful. Every detail, every service, every moment is perfectly designed. The rooms are more than rooms; they are retreats. Mine was long, high-ceilinged space that was artfully divided into a living room with a view of the river, a large bedroom, with comfortable office space between the bed and the three-room bath. A giant tub (no cheesy Jacuzzi here) and separate tiles shower and toilet. The décor was historical, with interesting collections of Siamese memorabilia and artifacts such as two vintage dental chairs (a little macabre) and a fabulous ceramic miniature horse and cart. The food was impeccable and impeccably served. And the hotel had its own scheduled private launch service to various points along the river. It could not have been nicer.
Of course, even with all my Hilton HHonors points and Star Alliance miles, I felt a little out of place. Yes, I’d been brought up into a country-club life and I’d stayed in great hotels before, but I’m not used to—or immediately comfortable with—the level of service that The Siam offers its regular—and with the highest rack rates in Bangkok, very wealthy—clientele.
Upon arrival, I met my personal butler, Gup, who showed me to my suite and explained some of the amenities. He arranged for a massage before dinner. (It was the best massage I’ve every had, of course.) When I discovered that I had once again neglected to pack a reader for my camera memory cards, the butler went shopping for me and brought one to me. In the dining room and at the lovely dockside bar on the river, the wait staff knelt each time they approached to give me a menu or take my order.
For its regulars, The Siam is just another extension of the privileged life. Nothing is left to chance here, and I thank and congratulate my host on achieving his dream of a luxury urban resort in the heart of Bangkok. But it’s so otherworldly as to make the gulf between the lives of its patrons and the rest of the world even more apparent. As if it weren’t already.